Friday, October 1, 2010

A Model of Dignity.

I'd like to post this article I read in News Straits Times.

Tiger Woods' former spouse has finally spoken out because it is important to her that the world knows she had no clue that what was going on, writes Jan Moir.

Breaking her silence for the first time since her husband was exposed as a serial cheat, Elin Nordegren declares that she still believes in love. A brave and rather noble thing to say, considering that love has failed her so dismally. Elin was the young and vurnerable mother of a baby and a toddler when wicked old fate - in the shape of her unfaithful husband Tiger Woods - threw a custard pie in her face last year.

Poor Elin. She had to learn the hard way that her life, as she knew and enjoyed it, was a total lie. Since they met, she had thought that her husband was devoted to her - and why should she not ? But that was before news of his torrid sexual relations with a string of legs-ahoy strumpets was laid bare, much like the women themselves, for the entire world to see.

The couple's sad but perhaps inevitable divorce was announced last month. And Elin has spoken out because it is important to her that the world knows that she didn't know what was going on. She really didn't. That string of girls, including the club hostess, the waitress, the socialite, the porn star and that chick in the pro-shop with "Ready when you are, Tiger" tatooed on her forehead ?

Elin didn't have a clue. No wonder that the 30-year-old felt "blindsided" and "embarrased" when she found out about his wholesale infidelities. "I never suspected, not one," she said. She was too busy being pregnant or looking after their two toddlers, Or- irony of ironies - immmersed in studies for her degree in psychology.

"I felt stupid as more things were revealed. How could I not have known anything? The word 'betrayal' isn't strong enough", she said, adding  that she was also dissapointed in those close to her (and her family) who were also in on the deceit.

That's the thing. It is not just the husband, altough that is more than terrible. In this case, it was also the co-conspirators, the shady little facilitators and enablers who also played their sordid part. Those on the Christmas card list or the payroll who knew exactly what was going on but said nothing.

They are exactly the same kind of "friends" who shepherd girls into the hotel bedrooms of married premiership football players, or usher backstage groupies into the clutches of rock stars who wives waiting for them at home. This awful, corrosive lack of respect for the wife that sweeps through both husband and husband's entourage is mighty dispiriting, to say the least.

No wonder Elin is distraught and confuse. She must be wondering why Tiger Woods, the richest athlete on the planet and a sporting hero to millions, ever bothered marrying her in the first place.

It's a good question.

When she met and fell in love with her Tiger, Elin Nordegren thought she had hit the love jackpot. He was the clean-cut boy, the practising Buddhist with the heartbreaking smile. She was a part-time model and a nanny to another professional golfer. Her life would never be the same again.

In 2004, they married in a glamourous sunset ceremony in Barbados, taking their vows under a white pagoda, decorated with 500 air-freighted roses. Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates were among the cooing guests. Is it too cruel to remember that Tiger and Elin spent their first night of married life at sea, sailing away together on a yacht called Privacy ?

Even back then, the omens were gathering, altough Elin did not see them. She did not see anyhthing as far as she was concerned, until she found the sex texts on her husband's telephone less than six years later, the future unfurled before them, like a red carpet of glowing good fortune. What could possibly go wrong ? Only everything. Oh, the pain that men put women through.

Yes, I know that women can also be cruel. And have affairs and behave badly. Yet I would argue that this kind of indulgent, long-term sexual frenzy - the myriad partners, the pleasure-seeking obsession and the lack of moral obligation, alongside the monstrous ego and unchecked self-regard that fuels it - is the exclusive preserve of the male.

Particularly males who are rich, famous and unable  to resist the temptation of using their celebrated status for the procurement of sex. So, good for Elin, who has been as gracious as possible in the circumstances. She has put the best gloss on this sleazy short, ever mindful of the future that awaits her two small children. Despite the fact that her hair has fallen out due to stress, she still has kind words to say about  her husband and denies that she ever tried to hit him with a golf club.

A divorce settlement believed to be in the region of 64 million pound sterling (RM331 million) helps, of course, but will it be enough ? Elin has lost  not just a husband, but also the family life she wanted so badly for their children. The ordinary magic of waking up together on a weekend morning within your own little family unit ? All that has gone.

Hit into the rough by her silly, selfish husband, and all for what, Tiger ? The rather grim news that Rachel Uchitel, resident queen among his panting conquests, is still desperate to see him ?

On the circuit, Wood's golf game is slipping and he seems to have aged about 20 years. The strain of having to live with himself is showing, even as he tries hard, in the embers of his marriage, to be an understanding husband. "I certainly understand that she (Elin) is sad", he said. "And I feel the same way."

Does he really ? After the darkness of the double life he led and the unhappiness it unleashed, it is wrong of Tiger Woods to even think that they are still on the same wavelength.

These things made me so scared to get in any relationship..and to be married. ;(
Lesson to learn.

The good thing is ... she got the strength to let go.
May you find the happiness you've always wanted, Elin.

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